prayer

Acts
ch. 1
v. 14

They all joined together constantly in prayer...

i wonder what this must have looked like. i don't think prayer then looked much like prayer today. we've had centuries and centuries of practice at over analyzing and inserting rules into our practices of prayer. the most obvious instruction on prayer by Christ, the Lord's Prayer, certainly seems to not be able to last for much longer than a few minutes. so what does it mean that they joined together "constantly" in prayer? what did these prayers sound like, feel like, consist of? what were they praying about anyway...what to do next?

ben, in his last post, talked about calling and how we sense the Spirit's leading. this is something that, honestly, has confused me for the last several years. i used to have a very dogmatic way of approaching life decisions. i just ran it through a series of tests and then i knew it was God approved. however, somewhere along the way, i started running decisions through my systematic doctrine of calling and what i sensed to be the outcome and what life ended up deciding became two separate stories. this didn't align with my understanding at all.

v. 24-26
Then they prayed, "Lord, you know everyone's heart. Show us which of these two you have chosen to take over this apostolic ministry, which Judas left to go where he belongs." Then they cast lots, and the lot fell to Matthias, so he was added to the eleven apostles.

it struck me today while i was reading this chapter for the fourth time that possibly something more significant than the casting of lots would be used to determine the identity of the twelth apostle. i mean, we're talking about a group of people that would only exist as a group of 12 among the billions of people that have existed throughout history. about a group of people who played a gigantic role in the spreading of the Gospel and the establishing of the church. and it came down to chance? but not just chance. chance redeemed by prayer?

maybe...just maybe we approach calling in a far too modern sense. God has a specific plan. my life is a map. for every choice there's a right and a wrong. maybe God is much more fluid than that. maybe it's more about his character than about a specific will. maybe. i'm not sure i want to believe that because it's quite a bit scarier. i'd prefer that he emblazen my next move in the clouds every day.

tomorrow i think i'm finally moving onto chapter two.