Back to it

by Ben

Hey all...sorry again for the extended absence. Matt, I will be going through the back-dlog entries to catch up on my reading! However, for my return post, I will include some musings and prayers from my summer at camp:

Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

God,
Give me the strength to trust you. I love you and i know that you have done so much for me. I praise you for leading me here, to this sacred place. God, thank you for giving me the opportunity to be around such incredible Christians. Help us all to trust you. And to give you thanks when you do lead us to glory. I ask for your hand to be upon all of the counselors and kids who come to Wakonda - may they always seek to do your will. Abba, help me to serve your kingdom. Regardless of where I end up - I know it will be for your glory! Father, help me to always remember that; it is not about me!
Amen.

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Now, on with today's reading:

Psalm 1 (New Living Translation)

I thought it was appropriate that I get back into the habit of daily Scripture reading with the Psalms. Yes, I must admit that while at camp my daily reading slipped a lot. I still did my devotional, but I failed to keep up reading and journaling. But in getting back to it, I thought that the Psalms, which are filled with people who run the full range of emotions, yet still seek God, would be the most appropriate for me right now.

I am hoping to do my daily reading in the Lectio Divina approach to Scripture. That's how I began today and came upon the phrase "bearing fruit each season without fail." While focusing on this phrase, I came to the understanding that my goals in life have often been out of alignment with God's purposes. For too long, I have been loving and following God because of the benefits that I've been told I will receive. Such as in this passage, I totally miss the part that says "they delight in doing everything the Lord wants; day and night they think about his law." There's a shift of perspective here. They "delight" in doing what the Lord wants. Sometimes I delight in it, but those times are often when things are either going well or I can see the positive results coming my way. When things are tough, I barely trudge through. In my prayer time today, I thought, "I really want to be able to bear fruit each season without fail." I think that God is showing me that even if that fruit is spiritual growth in others, that my focus should not be on the fruit, but in what allows me to bear it and that is my connection to Him.

I've been reading "Running on Empty" by Fil Anderson over the course of the summer. Mr. Anderson speaks a lot about having a wrong view of God and subsequently having wrong motivations in regard to spiritual activity. The book reads like my biography. I teach, preach, and share the good news and yet, I can't seem to act out what I am talking about. I work at my spirituality, but with the intention of better showing others how to do it. I read Scripture, but with the intention of looking for verses that would impact other people. While these goals may be noble, they aren't what God is asking of me. I haven't been seeking God. I have been seeking information.

God, I pray that you forgive my blindness. I know that I need to be comfortable just being with you. Help me to stop using you and start seeking you. Thank you, Father, for the gift of understanding. Allow me to be able to just be with you. Thank you, God.
Amen.