Contentment
Read: Philippians 3-4
Focusing in on chapter 4, the standout thing here is just how amazing of a guy Paul is. Joy without ceasing, contentment irregardless of circumstances. I think Rich Mullins said it best in his song "My One Thing": "Everybody I know says they need just one thing / And what they really mean is that they need just one thing more." Of all the things that drive me the craziest about myself, my need to consume definitely takes a spot in the top 3. There are probably very few days that go buy where I don't buy something; sometimes necessary things like food and lightbulbs and stuff, but most of the time Taco Bell, comics, DVD rentals, games, etc. And it's always, "Well, if I just buy this New Avengers #3 variant then I'll stop." But it's a self-delusion of the highest sort and then #4 shows up on eBay . . .
Since I've recognized this I've gotten better but still, my packrat compulsions and ultra-consumer mindset are very frustrating. Happiness doesn't come with getting, but giving. And I know that. And I know that, as Paul says, "the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or empty" is knowing that "I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am" (4:12-13). The knowledge is in my head but it gets bottlenecked on the way to my heart.
I guess that's why, going back up a few verses, Paul advises us to pray about everything (4:6-7). But this falls back onto the problem of me being horrible at praying regularly, let alone continuously. Perhaps one of the unforeseen lessons that will come about from this move is the limiting of my consumption and the realization that I actually can get by without that #3 variant (although the cover to #4 is sooooooo cool! ;) ). It's a tough thing to pray for God to change you because it never feels good so I'm always hesitant to do it. Kinda like me and getting my blood drawn: I know I need it but I still hate it, no matter how much good it will do me.
Obstinate comes to mind :)
But thank you, God, for seeing past all of that and seeing me as your son who is trying, maybe not hard enough, but still trying. Thank you :)
posted by Matt Wiggins @ 11:42 AM
5 Comments:
Wiggins I'm right there with ya brother. I don't know if you knew this but I save ALL of my reciepts no matter what as long as I can help it. After I balance my checkbook I put them in an envelope for the month I'm in and than put that into file holder. I started this last March and it's getting close to the time when I will see what my spending habits were just one year ago. The original goal of all of this was to keep track of my spending and keep myself on top of the whole checking account business but now something else has happened. I've actually started to care, lol, more that is. I hope you have as good a time as I have had trying to learn how to live without certain things and I'll pray that the both of us would remember all of this should we find ourselves better off someday.
God bless Wiggins, esm
i'm beginning to realize that my desire for things is directly correlated to my willingness to serve others. the more i serve the less i desire.
these lyrics from a mewithoutYou song are a brilliant reminder for me...
If I could become the servant of all, no lower place to fall. (I could be your servant)
You watched me like a ten car highway wreck with detached, vulgar curiosity.
Us looking down on the tops of the hats of us passersby from your seventh floor balcony
And from such a height you missed creatures too small for sight carry on covert conversation, as the misguided insects crown me their grasshopper king with a dance of celebration.
After years with their crown on my head, I’ve grown overfed, unconcerned and comfortably numb kept busy indulging in the pleasures of the wealthy.
(Oh, someone make me afraid of what I’ve become!)
At the first sign of possible sorrow I’ll turn my heel and run. (Oh, I’ll never learn!)
My life’s a cup of sugar I borrowed before time began and forgot to return.
It was a matter of time,
I always said I could see but now I’m going blind. (I could be your servant)
It was a matter of miserable time but I heard somewhere, there was a cure for useless eyes. (If I could be your servant)
"January 1979"-mewithoutYou
good stuff matt...i often feel bottlenecked as well.
I realized while reading this that I worry about things way too much. I need to trust God more in that He is present in the details of my every day.
Joel, you need to listen to music with less complicated lyrics.
Go find your dc Talk tapes. Now. ;)
Joel THAT WAS AWESOME!!!
That song is rockin' but most importantly it has a slam your head in message of Truth brother :-)
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