Hey, look a dlog!

by Ben

Hey all! So I was in the office today, looking through my favorites menu, and found a link to something called dLog. Wow. What a great thing! A site of written thoughts about God, some based on the Bible and some based on personal experiences. How neat! I'd heard of this blogging thing before, but what a fun usage of the internet. Friends sharing their interactions with God.

So, it's been a bit since I last posted. Much has happened: doubts, fears, joys, moments of being extreme distance to God, and moments of extreme closeness to God. With that, I turn to the Israelites:

I read 2 Chronicles 1-9.

2 Chronicles starts off by following the events of Solomon's life (David's son). Solomon has become king and the first thing that he does is sacrifice a thousand burnt offerings to God. Whoa. 1000.

That night, God comes to Solomon in a dream and tells him to asks him what he wants, saying that it will be given to him. Solomon asks God for wisdom, which is a pretty smart move anyhow. Solomon cares so much for the people that he will be leading that he doesn't want to do anything to mess it up. He wants to be wise in his ruling over his people.

I find myself relating to these Bible characters so often. In working with my youth, I want to be wise. I want to know how best to lead them in their faith journeys. I want to be able to be a rabbi for them, such that they look toward my actions as how they should act. I want to be able to respond to their questions about faith in ways that cause them to think. I envy the wisdom of Solomon. I envy the relationship that rabbis have with their disciples. I really fear for my youth. I am scared for their futures, for the people that they could become.

I mean, I know that if they don't follow God, it isn't entirely my fault. But I certainly feel as though much of the responsibility for their spiritual development rests on my shoulders. I know that is silly - that my one hour a week doesn't compare to the time they spend in other aspects of their lives. Yet, I'm one of the people that they look to for guidance (or maybe should look to). I fear two things: 1) that they won't look to me for spiritual guidance. 2) when they do, they won't find what they need.

I know that God is doing more work for those kids than I ever could. I also know that he cares more about them than I ever could. But...

You should notice by now the tennis match that is going on in my mind. But this morning, I found some relief:

Today, I took some quiet time. A book that I picked up at NYWC called "Enjoy the Silence". It deals with Lectio Divina and was exactly what I needed. The verses I read today were Luke 8:4-15 and deal with the parable of the sower. I realized two things...1) that I have to work on my own heart first, to make sure that I am a plant that has good soil and will produce seeds. 2) that all I can do is produce the seeds, I can't shove them into soil that won't take it.


Like Solomon, I ask for wisdom to lead my people. I think I got some today.