to know and be known...
Read: Psalm 137-139
we all have woven into us the desire to know and be known. not just to be popular or to accumulate a large number of acquaintences. but to have people with whom we can be transparent, recklessly honest. i find this desire to be often frustrating. opening yourself to people means opening yourself to hurt. in our fallen ways, we unintentionally (and sometimes intentionally) fail those who have entrusted us with their deepest parts. but despite my fear of these sorts of friendships, i still feel continually drawn to seek them.
Psalm 139 reminds me why. it's because i have experienced (in fact, continually experience) being known by One deeper than anything i could replicate in this life. he formed me, he covers me, he protects me, he knows me. he sees beyond my pretenses and even my faulty sense of self. and despite my obvious shortcomings, he indwells me and empowers me to continue living. and so i desire to know and be known by others in ways reflective of this. not emulating, but imitating. not able to achieve the same level, but to climb together nonetheless.
posted by joeldaniel @ 2:34 PM
2 Comments:
As I was doing some work at home yesterday, I was thinking about a friend of mine who will be getting married this coming weekend. I realized that I'd never been a really good friend to him. Even still, he has asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding.
In our social group in junior high, he was shorter than most of us, due to a late growth spurt. We, being junior high boys, picked on him for this. (Everybody picked on everybody, but I think he got more than his share). I took part in it just as much as everyone else. I ridiculed a friend, someone who trusted me.
He grew up (taller than me, in high school), and joined the Marines. Just a few years ago, he lost his mother to cancer. I was nearby, but I wasn't there for him. I didn't go out of my way to try to console him.
Yet, here I am, preparing to stand with him as he gets married.
It's not fair. It's not right. It's not justice. I do not deserve to have the privilege of standing with him.
But here it is: a picture of God's grace. Shown through one of His children.
Sometimes it's embarrassing to talk to you
To hold a conversation with the only one who sees right through
This version of myself
I try to hide behind
I'll bury my face because my disgrace will leave me terrified
And sometimes I'm so thankful for your loyalty
Your love regardless of
The mistakes I make will spoil me
My confidence is, in a sense, a gift you've given me
And I'm satisfied to realize you're all I'll ever need
[Chorus]
You looked into my life and never stopped
And you're thinking all my thoughts
Are so simple, but so beautiful
And you recite my words right back to me
Before I even speak
You let me know, I am understood
And sometimes I spend my time
Just trying to escape
I work so hard so desperately, in an attempt to create space
Cause I want distance from the utmost important thing I know
I see your love, then turn my back and beg for you to go
[Chorus]
You're the only one who understands completely
You're the only one knows me yet still loves completely
And sometimes the place I'm at is at a loss for words
If I think of something worthy I know that its already yours
And through the times I've faded and you've outlined me again
You've just patiently waited, to bring me back and then
-Relient K
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